For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
Silence is the true friend that never betrays.- Confucius
I have read suggestions about personal blogs and I am sure from the research I have done that most people would agree that I have shared way too much information about myself. I can understand why some would think that. I would have to disagree though. The reasons that I decided to start writing this blog and have tried my best to continue on with it are simple. I want to help other people and it has been very therapeutic for me, which is something I did not expect. My only concern at the beginning of writing this blog was to “pass it on” which if you are not familiar, is the twelfth step of addiction recovery groups. I know that I have had these experiences for a reason and I feel that atleast part of that reason is to be able to help someone else. I received help from other’s who had been in my shoes and if I can share anything at all that might help encourage another person or just let them know that they are not alone, then I feel as though it is worth it to put myself out there and share my experiences, no matter how good, bad or indifferent they may be. At first, I had only planned on writing about my addiction and recovery but then I just started to feel differently about it. I decided to share about the abuse I went through because so, so, so, so many young girls and women are abusebut d every day. I just wish there was more I could do and I hope to be able to one day. That is why I started baci to college before I got pregnant. i was majoring in Christian Counseling. Cyounseling or child advocacy are two things I am very interested in doing. I would also love to write a book someday.
I have recently gone back to counseling after being diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and to actually deal with the abuse from my childhood. It is obvious to me and my counselor that my addiction and many other things that have happened since then have all occurred basically as symptoms of the first issue, the sexual abuse. That is the one thing I still have basically been in denial about, atleast to some degree. I was sick and tired of being a victim and just wanted to move on and forget about it all, including my biological father’s suicide. I even had counselor’s in the past tell me that I just needed to forgive and forget or let the past stay in the past. I have probably heard every saying there is to hear and so I started to believe it. It sure sounded easier than actually having to work through any of these issues and having to try to bring up old memories that I have long forgotten and mostly blocked out of my head. That is the true work I am beginning now. I am so fortunate to have found a Christian Counselor that knows what to do about this and is willing to truly help me. One of the biggest reasons I decided to go back to counseling is because of my son. He deserves a healthy mom, a mom that is not depressed or anxious or suffering from PTSD symptoms all of the time. I am, however, not naive. I am aware that this will take a long time to work through. It took me a long time to get to where I am now. I also know that some of the symptom
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. -Albert Einstein
It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. -Anonymous
The less men think, the more they talk.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. -Norman Vincent Peale
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. -Albert Einstein
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. -Bill Cosby