Daily Prompt-Audience of One from November 30, 2012

I was reading through some blogs that I follow and I came across a daily prompt from November 30, 2012.  Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter.

I like this prompt a lot. I immediately thought of my biological father. There were so many things left unsaid and so many questions left unanswered. I would want him to read my blog to know how his life and choices affected me and my life. I actually have a poem that fits this perfectly. Here it is.

Do you realize what you have taken from me
Well I’ll take some time to explain
The obvious things you have done to me
have caused me tremendous pain

The first time you touched me “inappropriately”
I was only two-years oldWhat a sick human being you were
Your heart was always so cold

You were supposed to be my daddy, my hero
Someone I could always trust
Instead you were the enemy
to every one of us

I always remember being so depressed
even as a very young girl
I would hide in my room and just cry
You had destroyed my entire world

You continued with the abuse
as I grew a little bit older
You had stripped away my innocence
and the days began to get colder

The control you had was unbelievable
You knew exactly what to say and do
You made me scared but at the same time,
I wanted to be loved by you

I guess you never had that love to give
You were always too selfish to care
Now you are gone from this earth
It does not seem very fair

The scars I have you cannot see
but they are very real and deep
They will always be there to remind me
that it is okay for us to weep

I mourn the loss of my childhood
That little girl so brave
I imagine hugging her tightly
and making everything okay

Even though you are my father
I am sometimes relieved you passed away
because now you can’t hurt anyone else
It is just me who still  has to pay

I do hope you are okay
wherever you may be
I will still always love you
no matter what you have done to me

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