A Poem For Doug

20121203-121716.jpgWhy am I so lost
I don’t know what to do
I think about you always
My feelings are nothing new
Since the day you left
My heart has not been whole
I have an emptiness inside
No one could take your role
I feel so helpless
I’m hurting inside
There’s nothing I can do
Why did you have to die
Now I can’t say I love you
I have no one to call my dad
You’re out of my life forever
My life just seems so sad
My anger is overflowing
It wasn’t your time to go
You took your own life
How could you do something so low
Selfish is how I describe you
You left without saying good-bye
Now I’m stuck here coping
Trying not to cry
But I am still so strong
I’ve made it through okay
I’m getting on with my life
Taking it day by day
I wish I had one last chance
So you could know how I feel
I wish you knew my pain
I wish that it wasn’t real

~Written by Tabitha~



4 responses to “A Poem For Doug

  1. While suicide is horrible on the living, it is unimaginable for the person who has lost all hope in life. As a bipolar sufferer, I can understand this, having attempted myself in the past. Depression and mental illness cannot be described without going through it. I am so sorry you are hurting. Just know that he couldnt stand life as it is, and forgive him.

    • I suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, from suffering sexual abuse at the hands of my father (who this poem is written about). I deal with depression, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, etc. I know what it is like to not want to live anymore. I also now know what it is like to have a child now. I can’t imagine leaving my son in the same position that my father left me. I appreciate your comment and I am sorry that you also suffer from depression and bipolar disorder. I will be praying for you. I am learning that forgiveness is a slow process and my poetry is a way that I am healing through that also in this journey in life. I am not intending to cause anyone else pain through my poetry, only sharing my personal experiences in hopes that it may help someone else who may be experiencing similar pain. Thanks again for your comment.

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